Friendaholic: THE NUMBER ONE SUNDAY TIMES BEST SELLER

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I sometimes could relate so well to her expectations and behaviors as a friend, and also on the other side of things friends expected from her as a friend. From ghosting to frenemies, to social media and communication styles, to the impact of seismic life events, Elizabeth leaves no stone untouched. For me personally, failed friendships have left lasting scars on my soul; the successful ones mean more to me than I can say. Misschien omdat ik precies het tegenovergestelde ben maar girly je kan gewoon nee zeggen tegen mensen en grenzen stellen? Romantic partners may come and go, but the ability to tell yourself that you have a lot of friends, some dating back to kindergarten days, is a psychological lifejacket like no other.

Acabei por me relacionar muito com algumas das lutas travadas pela autora neste campo da sua vida, e consegui tirar alguns ensinamentos destas páginas. Intertwined within the book are the "Friendship Tapes," various interviews with other people about their feelings in friendships. Elizabeth Day is an author, journalist and podcaster and if you’ve listened to her amazing podcasts How to Fail and more recently Best Friend Therapy, you’ll know she’s charming, witty and incredibly open.

I spent a lot of my time reading this book and thinking "Yes that happened to me" or "OMG that's me" or "I do/did that", so I feel it's a sign of a good book when so much of it relates or I feel seen. I learnt so much about myself reading this and was particularly moved reading Elizabeth’s heartbreaking account of her fertility journey - I felt seen and heard.

I related to it so much and believe if every adult read this, we could all be experiencing more honest, deeper connections. Friendaholic has given me clarity as to why those friendships had to end, and why the ones I have now are so meaningful. This one really digs deep, is bravely revealing and makes me reflect on my own friendship habits, issues, and culture.

Academic and scientific lines of reasoning are used in this book to provide a bit of starch to an otherwise completely subjective book. So if you are still, as Day was at one point, determined to maintain every friendly connection you’ve ever had, it is an index not of your niceness but of your desperate need to hang on to several skips’ worth of emotional lumber. I'm just not sure Day's experiences of friendship are representative of the core experience for most people.

I really enjoyed reading this, but I found the point or anecdote was often lost in a seemingly pointless side story or fact or lengthy metaphor. Then, when a global pandemic hit in 2020, she was one of many who were forced to reassess what friendship really meant to them - with the crisis came a dawning realisation: her truest friends were not always the ones she had been spending most time with. Relationships/friendships are so complex and it is reassuring to read something, in an easy way, that means your experiences aren’t that unusual after all!Those are the midweek get-togethers (neither of you would dream of giving up a Saturday night to each other) which are somehow never as nice as they should be and leave you feeling down, depleted and as if it is somehow all your fault. If, like me, you’re older, it will help you to unravel much of the confusion, frustration and, yes, grief you may have been carrying on your shoulders for far too long. So I said I wouldn't criticise the book for not being what I wanted it to be but then I went and did that anyway. I’ve already bought this for several people and recommended to others and all are finding it an insightful read. But, as Day explains in this admirably candid and well-crafted book, there is nothing more soul-sapping than clinging to a friendship with someone just because 20 years earlier you sweated in the same spin class.

The essential difference between male and female same-sex friendships, is that female friendships are "face to face" whereas male friendships are "side by side". In general I'm ok with saying you have more than one best friend but Day has made it quite clear she only has one and that she's super special. Then, when a global pandemic hit in 2020, she was one of many who were forced to reassess what friendship really meant to them – with the crisis came a dawning her truest friends were not always the ones she had been spending most time with. I am a recovering friendaholic too, and I found this book, which to some might seem niche or contrived, essential reading.In Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict, Elizabeth Day embarks on a journey to answer these questions. Over the course of the book, she examines topics such as the effect that the pandemic had on our friendships, why we make friends, friendships between people of very different ages, ghosting, platonic friendships between people of different genders, ‘friendship CVs’, the importance of clarity, frenemies, fertility (this chapter is a truly important piece of work in itself), the effect of big life changes and serious illness, friendship and social media, defining ‘best’ friendships and, perhaps the most unspoken subject, the grief at losing a friend.